- "But hey, who needs a Trojan horse when the alarm is down and your standing army is a dame, a dork and a... drunk?"
- ―Max Payne
A Dame, a Dork, and a Drunk is sixth chapter in Max Payne 3.
This chapter starts with Raul Passos coming in to Max's apartment. Max is sleeping on a table with some alcohol next to him. Passos wakes him up and tells him that their boss, Rodrigo Branco, wants to see them. Upon the arrival, they meet a new face in Branco's office, Armando Becker, who is promising that he will rescue Fabiana and safely return her to Rodrigo. Da Silva arrives to attempt to warn Rodrigo that the UFE was possibly involved in the conspiracy only to be dismissed as another corrupt cop. Later on, Max receives news that some "paramilitaries" are surrounding and invading the building. Max has no choice but to kill them in order to protect his boss, leaving Rodrigo in his office prepared to lock down to ensure his safety while Max is taking care of business. Max goes then leaves with the IT Guy to get the systems back online in the headquarters, so that Rodrigo can lock the building down. After the building is locked down, Max returns to the office, where he finds Rodrigo dead on a table with a bullet in his head. Max then discovers that there is a remote explosive under the table on which Rodrigo died, while picking up a broken photo stand of Fabiana off the floor. Max then tries to jump out the window but the bomb explodes and injures him. Through the detonation of other (speculated) explosives, the building starts to collapse from severe structual damage and an inferno.
Max tries to leave the building while fighting a few Crachá Preto members, of which one appears to have killed the IT guy. At the end of the level, Max finds a nearly dead paramilitary soldier who is severely injured and because of this, unable to be hostile towards Max. Max who then interrogates the dying soldier asks why they came to kill Rodrigo Branco, but the soldier replies that they came to kill Max, because he's apparently killed a significant number of them. Max asks the soldier where Fabiana is being held, and the soldier then replies to Max that Fabiana is being held by Comando Sombra up the hill, which is later confirmed in the next chapter (and second disc of the Xbox 360 edition of the game) by Da Silva, who purposely goes to encounter Max in A Hangover Sent Direct from Mother Nature.
- Max Payne
- Raul Passos
- Rodrigo Branco (Killed)
- Marcelo Branco
- Wilson Da Silva (Mentioned only)
- IT Guy (First appearance) (Killed)
- Victor Branco
- Armando Becker
Amidst The Wreckage
Destroy All The Models in The Boardroom
5 Gamerscore or a Bronze trophy
- The name of the chapter most likely references the characters within it - the dame being the secretary, the dork being the IT guy, and the drunk being Max.
- Max repeatedly references a security guard that helped clear the enemies from the building, and tells the secretary to find him for help, suggesting that Max was supposed to have an ally in the mission, but he was cut at the last minute.
- In an early cutscene of the next chapter, Max mentions fighting off the Crachá Preto with a security guard when talking to Victor.
- In Chapter 12 at checkpoint 4, Max can discover a large assembly of photographs and plans crudely attached to a wall of the Imperial Palace Hotel; included in the portfolio is a photograph of a man wearing glasses and a black suit entering the reception of the Fabricas Branco offices. It is highly possible this man is the security guard that Max references in Chapter 6 and 7.
- This, along when Max is shot in Just Another Day at the Office, is the only time where Max will not have full health when reloading a checkpoint.
- After the office explosion, Max cannot dual wield his weapons or perform a Shootdodge for the remainder of the chapter.
- For the Xbox 360 version of the game, this is the final chapter on the first disc.
- If Max goes through Victor's office Max will notice emails and a folder containing information about Fabiana's personal schedule which foreshadows his involvement in the kidnapping.